Comforting Others Is A Learning Process

     This past Sunday evening, our pastor referred to a list he had read of the "Ten Worst Mistakes" made in comforting suffering Christians. It was a passing mention with one example. It did get me thinking, however. I'm sure it was meant to. I have had problems in the past figuring out what to say to a person who lost a loved one, has been diagnosed with a major illness, or such things. Sometimes we can make mistakes. If we never reach out and try, we don't learn to do better.

     For some of us, seeing a Christian in pain or in need strikes at the very heart of our own faith in Scriptural promises that God will supply our needs or answer our prayers. "Why isn't God doing more for them?" we ask ourselves. "Why aren't they getting victory?" I think a careful examination of Scripture, including the New Testament, reveals that God means very often for His help to come through other people. God puts people in our path sometimes - please note that I said "sometimes" - so that He can fulfill His Word. When Christians see one another's needs and help, God is keeping his Word.

     The apostle James wrote in his epistle, (chapter 1, vv. 15-16), "If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food,..." - a verse which many know in the context of, "faith without works is dead, being alone." For a moment, consider it by itself. Evidently James did not consider it unlikely or impossible for a Christian brother or sister to have these problems. He did not say it was a sign of weak faith. Earlier, in verse 8, he said, "If you really fulfill the royal law," you will love others and meet their needs. James considered it likely that they might meet a Christian with problems and said to help them.

     In Jesus' own prophecy of his Great White Throne Judgment at the end of human history, (Matthew 25:35-46), he revealed things about Himself that have meaning right now, not just in the end times. He showed us things about His attitudes, His character, and His nature. He spoke of separating the people of the world into "sheep" and "goats," and in each case his judgment had much to do with how they treated "the least of these my brethren."  Jesus said he identifies with His children, (in Hebrews 2:11, "he is not ashamed to call them brethren"). How one treats a believer in Christ, He will take personally. But it also revealed that the people to whom he will speak at that time, the people he judges - whether they are all the people from history or just those who lived on earth during the seven-year Great Tribulation - were faced with believers in need. God allowed them to have needs and allowed them to suffer and put them in these people's paths. And the help that He promised in Scripture to give to them was meant to come through these people.
     This also suggests that sometimes as Christians we should accept help from non-Christians if they sincerely offer it, because Christ says that he expects it of believers and unbelievers alike. I know that in John's third epistle, (3 John 7), he speaks of those who "for his [Christ's] name's sake they went forth, taking nothing of the Gentiles." I think it is wise to be careful how far we apply that.

     Sometimes it is the most considerate among us who hold back out of apprehension we might say the wrong thing, or don't know where to start. I've been there. There are times I have felt after the fact that I was about as comforting as a beginner on the bagpipes. (There is an old Jewish proverb, "God save me from a bad neighbor and a beginner on the fiddle," but in my mind the bagpipes in novice hands are worse.)
     I can't really remember a time when I had an emotional or physical need and was on the receiving end of inexpert help, myself. If I find myself there, I hope I will remember to be understanding and forgiving and appreciate whether the person is trying to help - no matter how trying they are.